20 Weeks-Halfway through!

I was officially 20 weeks on Monday, but I'm just now getting around to writing about it! I wish I had been documenting the entire pregnancy this way, but I guess starting in halfway through is better than nothing.

So far, I have had a pretty easy pregnancy. I had some mild nausea and food aversions during the first trimester, but it was not as bad as what I've heard from other people about their own pregnancies. What was worse than the nausea for me was the fear and anxiety. I had a miscarriage last year at ten weeks, so this time around I was paranoid about every little thing. I had vowed to myself to be more relaxed, so I was surprised by how freaked out I was. I worried when I woke up and didn't feel "as pregnant" as the day before. One night we had dill in our chicken dinner, and I suddenly freaked out and started googling dill, convinced that I had ruined the baby. Poor Brodie. He was pretty patient through it all, but I could tell he was a little confused. I eventually started to calm down, and I realized that the body is designed to do this, and if a loss were going to happen it would not be because I ate dill or accidentally spilled some gasoline on my foot and hands. Right around twelve weeks, the nausea subsided and so did (most) of the freak outs.

The rest of the time up until now has been pretty good with a few challenges. During the second trimester I have had some headaches, hip pain, low back pain, and fluctuating appetite. I don't have all the crazy cravings I hear about. I have been conscioualy trying to eat more, but sometimes I don't feel like it and have to force myself. At my last midwife appointment two weeks ago I had only gained three pounds the entire pregnancy, but I am doing the best I can and hopefully my body will catch up. I didn't feel well enough in the first trimester to do much exercise, but during the second I have been doing lots of yoga and walking. I really think that's why I have felt so good overall.

We found out two weeks ago, to my great surprise, that we are having a litte girl! (that is a whole different post for another time). Brodie said he had felt deep down that it was a girl, but I was convinced it was a boy. I got over the shock pretty quickly as I saw her little profile, her heart beating, and when the ultrasound technician said that everything looked great. I believe that this little girl is coming to us for a reason, and I am so honored to be part of her experience in this life. I am so excited to meet her and to see everything that she will do. It has been so fun knowing her gender. It makes me feel really connected to her, and now when I daydream I have a stronger image.

I have been wanting a baby since I was about twelve, so this feels very natural and very right to me. I keep daydreaming about the day she is born, but I'm also trying to enjoy the present. Right now she is the size of a canteloupe! That seems huge to me. She is still being measured from head to bottom, and is six inches with that measurement. If she were to stretch out though, she would be ten inches. She even has a name! We had picked out a girl's name around week fourteen. We decided to drive everyone crazy and keep the name a secret. It has been a fun little secret for the two of us and I am excited to reveal it when she is born. I can't wait to meet her, but I know she is not done growing yet, and we still have some things to do to get ready! This is a very special time for us and we are just trying to soak it all in.